Sexist Jokes

They say a woman’s work is never done.
Maybe that’s why they get paid less.

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Just watched the advert, where the bloke walks in to the toilet to have a shit whilst his wife’s taking a relaxing bath.
After laughing at it, my girlfriend turns to me and says, “I bet you a man made this!”
Course a man made it - it’s an advert, not a Sunday roast.

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If men think with their dicks then I want someone to blow my mind.

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Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.

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For the first time a woman has been voted onto a council in Saudi Arabia.
The leader of the council said “Allah be praised we finally have someone to make a cup of tea at council meetings”

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If a woman says she’s wrong, is she still wrong?

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I’ve had my mood ring about a month now. When I’m in a good mood it turns blue.
When I’m in a bad mood it turns my girlfriend’s eye black.

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A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

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I was in a club last night and I got approached by a rather fat butch looking woman.
She had one of those fancy designer handbags with the words ‘ GUESS ‘ on the side.
“About 90 Kgs”, I said, “And you’re a man?”

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A recent study says that weight loss dramatically boosts men’s sexual health.
So start hitting the gym, ladies.

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