Science Jokes

Raphael is in biology class. Each student is dissecting a cockroach. He cuts off one leg, and says, “walk,” …
it walks. …

He cuts off the 2nd and 3rd legs and says, “walk,” …
it walks. …
He cuts off all the remaining legs and says, “walk….”
The cockroach doesn’t move.
Finally, Raphael writes his conclusion……
“After all the legs of a cockroach are cut off - it becomes deaf.”

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It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

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Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.

The Russian says, "We were the first to go into Space."

The American replies, "Well, we were the first to land on the moon."

Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says, "Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"

The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"

The man confidently replies, "I'm not an idiot. I'll just go at night!"

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My wife just saw a news article ‘World’s oldest person dies at 114’
“Wow!” she said “…the way medicine and science is going, I bet we have people reaching 150 years old within the next ten years!”
Stupid bitch.

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A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"
A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."

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Do you want to hear an uplifting Helium joke?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

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Q. Why are conspiracy theories are like moon landings?
A. Because they're all fake.

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I read that Alton Towers have started giving blind visitors a hand-held device that describes the attractions they are ‘seeing’.
It’s an iPod that keeps repeating, “You’re in a queue of 400 people.”

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A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”

The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here's your $40 change.”

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