Puns Jokes

Worker: The allies have invades normady!-------------------------------- Hitler: Wow... I did NAZI that coming!

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I don't take offense. Fence thieves will take a fence, though.

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Friend:Who are we looking for? Me: We're finding Nemo. Friend:Then why are we looking around the school? We should be looking in the school toilets!

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When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

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There once was a Russian guy named Olaf who was mean, rude, and crude. One day his wife and her friend were in the kitchen discussing Christmas. Suddenly Olaf shouted, "It's gonna rain any moment now!"

Next thing you know it starts raining. The wife's friend is shocked. She said, "How in the world did he know that?"

Without missing a beat the wife said to her, "Rude Olaf the Red knows rain dear."

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What did Adam say to Eve before Christmas?

"IT'S CHRISTMAS..."

"EVE!!!"

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*Plays game where I burn fake trees*
ME - Hahahahah!!! HAHAHHAHA!
Person next to me - What are you doing
ME - WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Person - You are playing with fire?
ME - YOU JUST FELT THE BURN!!!

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A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store. When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics: are you the fish fryer? Oh, no, the cleric answers, I'm the chip monk!

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