Gross Jokes

What is gross ignorance?
144 blondes

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One day there was this little girl watching TV and she sees 2 girls kissing. She ask her mom "Mommy why are those two girls kissing?" The mother then Replied "Oh their just making a cake. The little girls says "Oh Okay". The very next day the little girl is watching tV and she see two black guys kissing. She asked her mother "Mommy why are those two guys kissing?" The mother Replied again "Oh their just making a cake" The little girl says again "Oh Okay". The very next morning the mother was coming down the stairs and she sees her daughter with a smile on her face and her mother ask "Why such a smile?" The little girl replies "I seen you and daddy make a cake last night" The mother looks at her daughter in shocks and says "Oh really how's that?" The little girl Replied "I lick the frosting off the couch"

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It's a gross city. It's so gross. I went to use a pay phone tonight; I pick up the pay phone, I put it to my ear, and there was, like, jelly on it -- well, that's what it tasted like.

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What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.

What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

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Two bums walk along the road and come across a dead body. The first bums takes out his knife and cuts open the belly on the stiff. The stomach is filled with undigested pea soup so the bum breaks out his spoon and starts eating “Aren’t you gonna have some?” He asks the second bum.
“No way, that’s gross!”
Once bum number one is done they move along but sure enough, after 10 minutes he throws up all that pea soup he ate. Now bum number two breaks out his spoon and starts eating the hurl.
“What? Now you can eat it?!?”
“Yeah. I hate cold pea soup.”

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My mom was the kind that'd send us to church but didn't go... She'd give us scripture and didn't even know it. She just made up books. ''Cause in the Book of Ricky, it says you should give your mama five percent of your gross income.'

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10 reasons why beer should be served at work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
5. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
6. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
8. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
9. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
10. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."

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Q: What do you call 144 blondes?
A: Gross ignorance.

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1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

5.Write on the wall of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

6.Ask a person in the stall next to you for a tampon.

7.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

8.For women, stand in front of the toilet.

9.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as you use the bathroom.

10.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

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Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: German porn.
Q: What's worse than that?
A: People who watch it.

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