Q: Why are constipated people so rude?
A: They don't give a crap.
Q: What is the definition of cheeky?
A: Pissing through your next-door neighbor's letter box, then a few minutes later ringing their doorbell and asking how far it went!
Did you know that, in German, ‘gross’ means large? That’s what my German girlfriend said when she first saw my penis. I’ve also found that non-German women also use this word quite a lot.
I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff... and I want it (:
What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Depressed? Keep your chin up! Because when u have it down it makes it look like u have 2 of them and its pretty gross.