Fat Jokes

Yo momma’s so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled, ‘Land Ho!’

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A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, Silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “Paw, What’s ‘at?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I dunno. I ain’t never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain’t got no idea’r what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,
“Boy, go git yo Momma….”

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yo mommas so fat when Santa comes down the chimley he saids ho ho holy shit..........

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to call Sherwin-Williams to paint her toenails.

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Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her first word was "more."

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has a tattoo of the United States on her chest -- actual size.

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Yo Momma's so fat that when she went up to space, there was no space!

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Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

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I hate that PC stuff. He's not fat; he's gravity-enhanced. You mustn't say short -- vertically challenged. Nobody's bald; they're persons of scalp. The stupid are hard of thinking, and the crazy are logically impaired.

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