Clean Jokes

Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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Q. What can you give and keep at the same time?
A. A cold!

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Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

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Q: Where did the general keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies.

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Marry.
Marry who?
Marry me, please!

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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

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Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]

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Q: What do you call a girl who's just come back from the beach?
A: Sandy.

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There were 3 men in the desert. They all wanted something to cool them down. One brought a pail of water. The second brought an umbrella. The third took out a car door. The other two said,"Why do you have a car door?" The person said, "So we could roll the windows down when we get hot!"

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get a new truck, a new wife, and a new dog.

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