A guy walks into a bar and asks, "Who owns that Doberman tied up outside?"

A man replies, "That's my dog".

"Well," says the first man, "I think my Chihuahua killed him."

"Your CHIHUAHUA killed my Doberman?"

"How'd he do that?" asks the man at the bar.

"I'm not sure. I think he got lodged in his throat".

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Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."

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A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that's a sweet ass.

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What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

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What's a rabbits favorite book?
Hop on Pop.

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How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.

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What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!

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Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.

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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.

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Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Wings.

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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"

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