Student:Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher:What are you gonna do over there?
Student: Make a boat and travel to Africa?!
Teacher: What kind of comeback is that !?
Student: Sorry I can't talk right now, I got Ebola from Africa because I'm teachers stupid enough to beileve me..

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Popular Kid: Your A Fail
Other Kid: Just Like Your Abortion! Twice!
Whole Class: OOOO

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We heard that when you ran away from home, your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."

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Am I the only person who blames global warming entirely on the Amish? Are they not a constant reminder of how awful life would be without all this great technology? Every time I want to cut back and conserve on natural resources, I just look at the Amish and I'm like, 'F**k that.'

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

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Yo, I Dont want your boyfriend ; nobody does. That's why he is with you

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Girl: OMG!!!! THERES A BEE BEHIND YOU!!!!!
Boy: WHAT!!!! WHERE!!!!
Girl: April Fools
Boy: BITCH, I WILL CUT YOU!!!!!
(**pulls out knife**)
Girl: WHAT!!!!!(nervously)
Boy: April Fools Bitch!!!!

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With your last statement and current appearance, you have just answered the question, "Did the white man ever f*ck the buffalo?"

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If I wanted a b*tch, I would've bought a dog.

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Bully: Hey nerd, your gay
Me: That's why there was loud noise complaints, saying it was coming from your moms bedroom

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There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon. It's called 'rhythmic gymnastics' -- unless you're five, then it's called 'playing.'

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