Popular Kid: Your A Fail
Other Kid: Just Like Your Abortion! Twice!
Whole Class: OOOO
We heard that when you ran away from home, your folks sent you a note saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."
Am I the only person who blames global warming entirely on the Amish? Are they not a constant reminder of how awful life would be without all this great technology? Every time I want to cut back and conserve on natural resources, I just look at the Amish and I'm like, 'F**k that.'
Girl: OMG!!!! THERES A BEE BEHIND YOU!!!!!
Boy: WHAT!!!! WHERE!!!!
Girl: April Fools
Boy: BITCH, I WILL CUT YOU!!!!!
(**pulls out knife**)
Boy: April Fools Bitch!!!!
With your last statement and current appearance, you have just answered the question, "Did the white man ever f*ck the buffalo?"
Bully: Hey nerd, your gay
Me: That's why there was loud noise complaints, saying it was coming from your moms bedroom
There are too many weird Olympic events now, like that one where the gymnasts prance around the mat swirling a piece of ribbon. It's called 'rhythmic gymnastics' -- unless you're five, then it's called 'playing.'
1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
3. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
4. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
5. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
6. A few clowns short of a circus.
7. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
8. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
9. A few beers short of a six-pack.
10. Dumber than a box of hair.
11. A few peas short of a casserole.
12. One taco short of a combination plate.
13. All foam, no beer.
14. The cheese slid off his cracker.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. 2
17. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 18. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
19. As smart as bait.
20. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
21. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
22. Surfing in Nebraska.
22. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
23. One sandwich short of a picnic.
24. The light's on, but nobody's home.
25. If dumb were dirt, he'd cover about an acre.