A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!!
One day, the wife of one of the Tribe’s noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary. “You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what has been going on!”
The missionary replies: “No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”
The chief pauses for a moment then says, “Tell you what, you don’t say anything about the sheep, I won’t say anything about the white child.”

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How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.

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Me: What happened to you? You don't look so good.

Friend: I got stung by a brose.

Me: There's no b in rose.

Friend: There was in this one!

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A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat.
The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo.
The man agrees and drives off.

The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again.
He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."

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What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!

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(Winking) What's black and white, winks, and screws like a tiger?

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What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.

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"Raccoons"? Oh, you mean garbage pandas?

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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

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Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.

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Yo mama so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.

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