A software engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an electrical engineer are carpooling to work, when suddenly the car stops running and they pull over.
The mechanical engineer says, "I think it's a problem with the engine. I'll have to get out and inspect."
The electrical engineer says, "No, no. It's got to be an electrical issue. I will grab my meter and troubleshoot to find out what is going on."
The software engineer says, "Nuts to all that. Let's just get out and get back in again."

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Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t.
And there will be a special name for them - secretaries.

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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.

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I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet.

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Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us.

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If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

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A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
No, restart the router, please!

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Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.

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Kyle: "Dude, why is my netflix DVD out in the snow?"
Ben: "Well, I heard the coolest thing on the internet right now is netflix and CHILL!"

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Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

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A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle - ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’

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