Did you know that, in German, ‘gross’ means large? That’s what my German girlfriend said when she first saw my penis. I’ve also found that non-German women also use this word quite a lot.

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From now on, instead of saying "you're welcome". I'm gonna start saying "you're whalecum".

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yet another one of my original jokes stolen by some cocksucker that flipped a couple of words making it seem like it's his or her shit while not realizing people like myself and others who's jokes have been taken and re-worded won't read them and won't think that it's actually their actual joke that they f*cking came up with. Newsflash you motherf*ckers, if we thought about them and came up with them then most likely we have them in our notebooks that we keep and we know exactly when and where and the time it was when we finalized the joke and wrote it in our notebooks. This is about that b*tch ass hoe that posted the joke about the "dick and the balls, let's go out. no whenever we go out you leave us knocking." FUCK YOU for thinking you got it but b*tch your shit version is f*cking stupid and not original. Bitch acknowledge that the joke was from someone else and your using it then i don't have an issue with it because i do exactly that, if it's not mine and i post it i always always always make sure to note that it's not an original by me.

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Pulled my groin the other day -- for about 20 minutes.

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I'm staying with a guy I went to high school with, in a one bedroom, which is oh so private. We got signals on the door just in case one of us has a magazine in the room.

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One day, a mother and her daughter were walking through the park and came across two teens having sex. The daughter asks the mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?" After thinking for a moment, the mom replies "They are making cakes, sweetie."
The next day, the mother and her daughter are walking through the zoo and they see two monkeys having sex, and the daughter asks again, "Mommy, what are they doing?" and the mother replies again, "They are making cakes, sweetie."
A few days later, the daughter walks into the kitchen and asks her mom, "Mommy? Were you and daddy making cakes in the living room last night?" and the mother replies hesitantly, "erm... yes hunny, we were." The daughter says, "Oh, okay, because i licked the icing off the couch!"

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I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase “Thanks for coming” ?

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As I stand here, and try to piss,
I think of the gal that gave me this.
If I see her, when I get well,
I'll get it again.
As sure as Hell.

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Have you ever seen hardware like this before?

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A girl went to a doctors surgery with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I’ve got some “Cream” For that.

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Whats worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

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