Q. What do you call a Chinese pedophile?
A. Fu Kum Yung.
Four mothers: German, Italian, French, and Russian are in a maternity ward ready to pick up their babies. It just so happens, the nurse doesn’t know which baby is which.
So the Italian mother walks up to a crib and takes out a slice of pizza. One of the babies moves its hands forward. “That’s mine,” says the Italian mother and picks it up.
Next, the German mother walks up and says, “Heil Hitler.” Immediately, one of the babies makes a Nazi salute and the German mother picks it up.
Next, the Russian mother walks up, doesn’t say or do anything, and just takes one of the babies.
“Hold on,” says the French mother, “how can you be so sure that it’s your baby. For all I know, it might be mine.”
“It is mine,” says the Russian mother, “When the German mother said ‘Heil Hitler’, my baby made an angry face, and yours shat itself.
An Englishman, American, Frenchman and a Pakistani on top of the Eiffel Tower
The American throws a load of money off the top
“Why did you do that” Ask the others.
“We have so much money in the states I can afford to do it ” says the American
“Ok” says the Frenchman and throws a bottle of champagne off the top, saying “we have so much champagne in France I can afford to do it”
The Pakistani looks at the Englishman and says “Don’t you fucking dare”
I love looking back on child hood memories One summer I lived with a family Europe. One day we went to camp I had a fight with their son schwits one day he hit me i replied Ow schwits after all he hit me but it was gas. On the last day people seemed angry when I heiled a taxi ill know better in fuher.
Two black guys are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75
Black guy one: “Do you think it will work?
Black guy two: “Only one way to find out.”
BG1: “I only have $50”
BG2: “Well, I have $100, I’ll go do it then give you my change
BG1: “Let’s do it then”
BG2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase.
BG1: “Holy shit it actually worked! Let me get that $25”
BG2: “Fuck you, nigger. Get a job.”
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy.
One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.
Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite.”
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, “Moishe, would you look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!”