Do you like Dragons? Because later I'll be Dragon my balls across your face.

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So Jenessa walks in on her parents having sex and she questions what they are doing. Her mom says "Oh well sweaty we are making a cake." About 1 week later Jenessa asks her mom if they were making a cake last night and her mother said "yes we were, but how did you know?" Jenessa replies "Because I licked all the icing off the bed."

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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

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A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.
She asked him, "Were you admiring my airplane?"
He replied, "No, I was admiring the landing field."

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Do you guys know that to hang out with you, we pretend we understand football? Do you know that faking football has replaced faking the orgasm in America?

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Your form is more arousing to me than that of a Twi'lek pleasure slave.

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Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he's coming or going.

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Q. How do you turn your bath into a Jacuzzi for under $1?

A. Eat lots of beans.

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what is the differance between butter and a blonde? Butter is harder to spread.

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I'm not into that kinky, freaky stuff where you put peanut butter under your armpits and lick it off. If I want a sandwich, I get up and go make me a sandwich. I ain't lickin' nothing off your body. That's nasty.

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My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."
"No, just your daughter's head," I replied.

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