Due to the way our Hindi was pronounced by the British and the Anglo Indians too,here Goes:
GANPAT-RAI Bihari ,(who really needs a job) is being interviewed by British, Colonel Smith
Col Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai)!!
Bihari: Nahi sir, jyada nahi!!
Col. Smith: Kya ‘jyada nahi’ bolta hai, tumhara application me likha Hua hai Gand fat rahai.
Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.
Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)??
Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo, kya ‘kabhi kabhi’ bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.
Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marata honga.
The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith’s family asks him to do.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!
Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.
Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai
Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar
Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)… baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga… aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.
Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai,lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.
Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.
Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ….jo hukum.
After a few days there is no one except Col.Smith’s wife at home. She is alone in her bedroom. While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie
the knot behind. So……
Wife: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
Wife: Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??
Wife: Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.
Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.
Wife: Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum.
Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull.
Panic stricken the wife tries to turn and shouts:
Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!!
Ganpatrai :Memsaab…Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega.
What is funny about 4 black men in a Cadillac running off a cliff....(They are dead)................THAT WAS ME CAR!
1 . Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying “Parking Fine”
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole “Thanks 4 d complement”
2 . How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the
notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other
so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather
forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand
it would be hot.
4. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!
5. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
6. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying …. When a
Person asked what he was doing…. He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies
7. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said
“My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610”
8. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse . He writes a Love letter to her, ” I
LOVE U SISTER.”
9. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.
10. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it’s a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin…!!!
The black guy I was walking behind stopped, turned and asked "Are you following me?"
"No", I said "You've got evolution all mixed up."
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway?
- He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death