Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?

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Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work.
The philosopher can do without the trash bin.

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Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.

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There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!

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Equation
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

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Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!

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Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math?
A: Me neither.

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Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories:
1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever.
2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet.
3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.

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Dear Maths,
Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.

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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9!

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