One day on a plane there were 100 bricks and one fell off. How many are left? 99
What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. put the giraffe in 3.close the fridge
What are the 4 steps to putting a rhino in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. take out the giraffe 3. put the rhino in. 4. close the fridge.
The animals were throwing a party and all the animals but one came. What was it? The rhino
A girl crossed a low bridge over crocodile infested water, but didn't die. Why? The crocodiles were at the party.
When she got to the other side she died though. Why?
A brick fell from a plane and hit her on the head

View More

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods?
A: "I'll never do that for two bucks again."

View

Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus

View

There were three pigs. The biggest pig went to the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it up and asked where the bathroom is. "Right over there," says the store clerk. Then, the middle pig went to the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it down and asked where the bathroom was too. "Right over there," said the store clerk. Finally, the littlest pig came in the market and asked for the largest soda. He gulped it all down. The store clerk asked," Aren't you gonna ask where the bathroom is?" "Nope," said the little pig," Don't u remember I'm the one that wee wees all the way home."

View

Careful! Angry dog in the backyard! Please do not crush him.

View

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”

View

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.

View

What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!

View

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends were.
"Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!"
"Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum."
"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

View

Q: What goes Maaaahh?
A: A scared cow

View

Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.

View